Weight

A journey through a life lived in service to others, while sacrificing self

Photo by Larm Rmah on Unsplash

My Nana snapped,
“You sure can dish it out”
They pushed me down
And still, she called me out

Mom had told me
To respect my elders
The message clear
Quash hurt, be a helper

Years on, I still
Clung tight to that lesson
Pain, mine to bear
Not a thing I questioned

Loved ones needed
No less than my silence
Not to question
But grow self-reliance

Weight, like a stone
Heavy on my shoulders
Anger set in
Inside, embers smoldered

My life became
A parade of traumas
Always someone
Trying to start drama

The weight shifted
And settled on my back
Bowed me in two
With no way to unpack

Decades slid by
Never felt I had stretched
Into my life
My dreams so far-fetched

Losses stacked up
Unable to process
Swallowed my words
In silence, no progress

One day, I stopped
Watched it tumble over
I’d grown so tired
Of constant exposure

Curled in a ball
I refused to come out
Weight expanded
Smothering me with doubt

So hard to breathe
Couldn’t leave my refuge
Pulled back from life
Anxiety so huge

Like that, I stayed
Seven years and a day
Weight consumed me
Pride and joy ran away

Until one day
Began to shift over
Wrestling it off
Pursuing some closure

Mission: to live
Without gasping for air
Six hundred days
Fighting again to care

Worth the struggle
I can finally see
A new day breaks
My soul now breaking free

No more silence
At last, starting to roar
Weight shifts aside
I’ve drilled down to my core

Pull myself up
Through with all of the games
Walk in the sun
Promptly taking my reins

Author’s Note:
It’s taken me years to arrive here in this moment. So many setbacks, so many times of rising again. If there’s one thing I will tell you, it’s this: never give up on yourself. — Liora
voice through fire | www.liorawrites.com

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