Well...definitely have to tune into the next chapters (since you've, apparently, split The Original). I have no idea what That Lady's deal is...but am curious what she was prattling about.
Her storytelling always pulls me right in — this mix of eerie, grounded, and deeply human detail is so rare. The way she can take something as ordinary as a late-night shift and turn it into a mirror for shame, fear, and reckoning is just stunning. Subscribed instantly — I want to follow every chapter of this.
Katie, your words knocked me over (in the best way). I can never quite see my work from the inside, and for you to reflect it back like this means more than I can say. Immensely grateful for your eye, your heart, and that we’ve crossed paths here 💜
Lots of dramatic potential to exploit. And a growing edge of menace but look at phrases like; Turned on her heel’ / ‘jumped out of her skin’ / ‘knowing look’ - delete these - your work is much stronger without these (cliched) phrases - trust your reader - the old show not tell thing! ( and I’ll take my own advice!)
Thanks so much! I had so much fun writing this one. I had it up as one post for a while but realized breaking it up into chapters might be a bit kinder to my readers! All 4 chapters are up now, refined just a smidge 💜
@Susan Crabtree Thanks so much for sharing my work! I truly appreciate it 💜
You deserve it, Liora! You’re most welcome! 🩷
Well...definitely have to tune into the next chapters (since you've, apparently, split The Original). I have no idea what That Lady's deal is...but am curious what she was prattling about.
LOL yes, what is her deal anyway?! I’m glad it intrigued you!
All four parts are available to read now. There are hyperlinks within each chapter to get to the next or go back💜
😁 Yes, I saw the chapters. I'll be reading, soon.
Awesome, I can’t wait to hear what you think!
Her storytelling always pulls me right in — this mix of eerie, grounded, and deeply human detail is so rare. The way she can take something as ordinary as a late-night shift and turn it into a mirror for shame, fear, and reckoning is just stunning. Subscribed instantly — I want to follow every chapter of this.
Katie, your words knocked me over (in the best way). I can never quite see my work from the inside, and for you to reflect it back like this means more than I can say. Immensely grateful for your eye, your heart, and that we’ve crossed paths here 💜
This works! Falls together nicely without waste. Writing prompts can be magical sometimes. I definitely vote more this.
Thanks so much for reading, Ernie! I’m writing on some other stuff and will be posting more stories in the near future💜
Thanks for sharing...this is so beautiful
Thank you, Hina, means a lot💜
If chapters 2 & 3 are as well written ✍️ as the first, it should be zinger!!
Thanks, for sharing, Liora.
Thank you so much! All the chapters (4) are out now, each has links to the others. I truly appreciate you reading my work! 💜
Lots of dramatic potential to exploit. And a growing edge of menace but look at phrases like; Turned on her heel’ / ‘jumped out of her skin’ / ‘knowing look’ - delete these - your work is much stronger without these (cliched) phrases - trust your reader - the old show not tell thing! ( and I’ll take my own advice!)
Thanks for your feedback, will definitely take a look and see what I can do with it 💜
I disagree with Jon. Each reader has their opinion, but mine is to be yourself. Don’t try to read into others’ opinions.
I think I fall in the middle. I write how I think, but then I end up translating that into something that makes sense for others, LOL
I really enjoyed this. I love the detail you gave.
Thanks so much! I’m very new to writing stories, so really hoping to build this craft. I do enjoy it!
This has such a sharp opening beat - the monotony, the mess, the scream, and then «her». It reads almost cinematic already. Off to chapter 2!
I’m so happy you enjoyed it! This one was a blast to write. 💜
Very cinematic.. I thoroughly enjoyed this. Makes me want to close some characters out the right way. Thanks!
Thanks so much! I had so much fun writing this one. I had it up as one post for a while but realized breaking it up into chapters might be a bit kinder to my readers! All 4 chapters are up now, refined just a smidge 💜
This is really very interesting..keep writing!
Thank you so much. I’m really glad it resonated with you.