9/11, Memorial Day, and the Weight of Memory
Reflections on war, loss, survivor’s guilt, and choosing life
Note: This is a longer reflection (approx. 20 min read). Take your time with it, come back if you need to. It’s heavy, but it matters.
This piece touches upon loss and suicide, please take care of yourself while reading.
Today marks the 24th anniversary of 9/11… Originally written just after Memorial Day, what follows is both remembrance and reflection: on service, loss, survival, and connection. I share it now because the ache of 9/11, Memorial Day, and personal losses are intertwined for me. This is my way of honoring them.
Finding the Words
I tried to record this thought train on Memorial Day, but my app failed and all I got was muted mumbling.
I tried to record it similarly the year before by a beautiful spot beside the lake. Finished it after crying a bit, only to find I’d failed to hit record.
Don’t you love it when either tech fails or you glitch in the moment?
Frustrating? Very.
Through with it? Not by a long shot.
So here we go…
9/11: The Call to Arms
Today marks the 24th anniversary of a day none of us can forget. Collectively, we carry the trauma and catastrophic loss our nation endured, but also the solidarity we felt as a people in the aftermath.
The unspeakable. A day of national trauma; those in the vicinity of the attacks pouring their hearts and themselves into rescue operations for so many lost… the rest of us glued to our television sets, helpless to do anything but watch it all unfold.
Our shock and terror were slowly replaced by grief and a profound sense of loss. That shared grief begot a sense of solidarity quite unique in our collective memory. People were furious at those responsible, but kinder to one another within our borders. Pettiness was largely rejected in those early days.
I’d already submitted my application to rejoin the Army when the attacks occurred. Two days later, I heard from my recruiter and arranged to in-process. I had small children. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt this meant I would deploy. I was afraid of what might happen.
I did it anyway.
We all felt that call deeply.
